Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops