Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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