What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

What's the difference between a duck?

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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