How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -18

25

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops