What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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