Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

I love you

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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