What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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