why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops