Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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I'm Coming

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops