A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Joesph Triphook.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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the sky is green no it is not

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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