A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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