Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops