A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Chlamydia

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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