Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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