Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

No it doesnt..

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

knock,knock you suck

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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