How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -11

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

someone called someone else a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops