In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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I'm Coming

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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