i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...