How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops