when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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