How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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