How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

if you can read this you dont' need glasses

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

sadf

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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