What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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