A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

What is life? Paul.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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