What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Oh, go away

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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every cloud has a silver lining

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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