I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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And now a word from our sponsors

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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