while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops