What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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