What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops