A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops