What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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