A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Men's rights

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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