How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Hello

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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