I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Tunechi

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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sky silverstein

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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