Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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