Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops