What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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I am a mime

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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