What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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