Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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