- Anti Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....