Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops