What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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nolan is gay

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Large 4

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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