Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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