Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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