Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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penis?

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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