I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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