When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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