Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops