Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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