"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops