A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

Tony Romo

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...