If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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An anti-joke

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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