How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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