Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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A blonde dies Lololol

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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