An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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guess what what ...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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