A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What's white and horny? A unicorn

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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