Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops