Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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