A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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