Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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human centipede

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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