Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops