Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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