What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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why dont they make black forks

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops