What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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knock knock Goodbye

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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