Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

I'm homeless.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

Please ignore this statement.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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