A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops