Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops